Fifth grade teachers are required by our state to teach a Human Growth and Development unit. I am a fourth grade teacher so I am spared the stress of teaching that unit this year. However, the sole, male, fifth grade teacher asked if I would help him handle a question and answer session with the fifth grade boys, and I quickly agreed. I saw a golden opportunity to obtain splendid, outrageous comments about the operation of penises and vaginas, and innocent and sometimes purposely provoking stupid questions. I had my palm pilot ready. Each time one of the little hornets would say something hilarious, I would whisper into the voice memo what they said or asked, and I would later turn it all into a hilarious blog.
No such luck! What’s the matter with kids today? They all asked very serious, important, mature questions about sports injuries to the male crotch area, AIDS, and other relevant matters. I taught that unit just a few years ago when I was a fifth grade teacher. What happened to questions like, “If you have a boner and it breaks, how long does your penis have to stay in the cast?” or “How come the people in the movies are all out of breath when their clothes are off?” or “Can a guy get a girl pregnant if their butts touch each other?” or “What happens if puberty never happens?” or “I didn’t like the video on what happens to our bodies during puberty because it was scary.” or “What happens if a boy’s breasts start growing big like a girls?” or “Since you have nuts, can they get crushed like peanuts?” or “What happens if both balls get shoved into one socket?”
Yeah, those were the kinds of questions you used to get asked. Kids weren't afraid to ask all kinds of real questions and make developmentally appropriate, outrageous comments. What’s the matter with kids today?