Friday, August 03, 2007

Redundant Chinese Fortune Cookies

Brandon is a sixteen year old teenager I mentor, and he and I are at a Chinese restaurant enjoying a pretty good meal. Brandon and I both love food, and Chinese food is particularly good to both of us, so we're talking and yakking away about love, women, and life in general. I, of course, am providing him with my deep insights and advice, and Brandon is thoughtfully pretending to listen in a way that leads me to believe he will actually follow up on all my pontifications.

We finished our kung pao chicken and moo shui pork, and the waiter brought us those endearing little fortune cookies that once cost me $5 because the lottery was started up in our state and so the fortune cookie companies began printing numbers at the bottom of their fortunes and my wife and I decided that maybe the numbers were some sort of mysterious omen of winnings to come, so I dash to the nearest convenience store and contribute a Lincoln to the state "kitty" and some of it is given to a lucky yokel in Bernalillo who actually won the damn lottery.

I opened my fortune cookie and read it out loud to Brandon.

"You are never selfish with your advice or your help."

Brandon nodded approvingly and responded, "Yeah. That's right."

"Open yours, Brandon."

Brandon opened his fortune cookie and said, "You are never selfish with your advice or your help."

I stated the obvious, of course. "Brandon! That's the exact same fortune as mine!"

Brandon paused briefly and then announced way too loud so that everyone could hear, "What is this crap?"

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