"You're kidding me, right?"
"Why do you have to do that? ( a pause while they listen) You mean you volunteered? This is what you wanted?"
"Aren't you scared a little bit? I'd be scared."
"Are you serious? (a pause while they listen) Oh my God. You are!"
"You haven't met my son."
"May God help you."
"What in the hell are you thinking?"
"You haven't met my daughter."
"But they're crazy at that age. They're absolutely out of their minds. Trust me on this. They're nuts!"
"Do you know what you're doing?" (a pause while they listen) "No I don't think you do." (another pause) No, you don't."
With a stunned, incredulous look on their face...silence.
"Well, you can always come back to elementary school when you realize what you've done."
"You obviously haven't met my thirteen year old son."
"Oh my God! I'd rather die."
"Great...No really. That's great. Somebody has to do it."
"Are you out o' yer mind?"
"I've heard teaching sixth and seventh graders has its advantages. You can say anything you want to in class, even cuss words, and they won't turn you in because they're never paying attention."
"You haven't met my fourteen year old 'drama queen.' "
"I've taught high school and elementary school, but I would never teach middle school."
"I have two teenagers. They are drenched in hormones and I want to kill them but I can't.
"My daughter's seventh grade language arts class had a student who threw a chair at the teacher and she had to go to the hospital for facial stitches."
"Will you be teaching at that middle school where the kids drove the substitute teacher crazy and she tied up one of them to a chair with duct tape?"
"They're hiring at my son's middle school because one of the teachers retired early."
"I don't think you're going to make it."
Are they correct? Have I naively and foolishly committed an act of voluntary stupidity? "Lost in Kids" will slowly reveal the real truth.