Saturday, August 07, 2010

Pajama Women Sightings on the Rise

Nature has many marvelous sights in store for those of you who are observant and dedicated, and I want to point out to readers of the strange and unusual sightings going on in the city where I live. Well, actually, I don't live in a city. I define a city not by its size but rather its robust business and civic acumen combined with the urbane sophistication of its amenities and infrastructure. In other words, a strange phenomenon is occurring in my settlement.

Sightings of Pajama Women are becoming more prevalent. Adult women, many with children, have been spotted publicly displaying themselves attired only in their pajamas which are accessorized and enhanced with flopping bedroom slippers which alerts onlookers to the arrival of the entire accoutrement ensemble.

This phenomenon is much more common with the parents of summer school children, and even more so with the parents of tardy students. They are never in a hurry, and flip-flop their way by with nary a greeting or a returned, "Good morning." As a summer school teacher I was given privy to many public observations of Pajama Women.

The sighting of a Pajama Woman in her natural habitat is not uncommon. At my home it's a daily occurrence. However, that rare appearance of a Pajama Woman in public is what we are fascinated with observing. If your city or town does not have any Pajama Women, do not be discouraged. The prospect of observing one in public can be enhanced by shopping at Wally World between the hours of 9:00 pm and 11:00 am. Never waste time going through the automotive, hardware, paint, nursery, or electronics section, for when they appear in public, they have left their lairs for the primary purpose of searching for food. One would be wise to wander through the grocery department, concentrating on the soda and chip aisle, but don't overlook the frozen food section either. They can also be spotted in the toy department asking their offspring questions such as, "How many times have I told you to stop hitting your brother with that DS?!" or, "Will you please put it back on the shelf?"

They also may be spotted in parking lots going to and from the front doors of Dollar Stores. This is one of their favorite environments, but be forewarned. If you actually enter a Dollar Store, you will find yourself distracted by bargains and will miss a lot of opportunities to observe the Pajama Women.

All in all, it's a fun hobby and quite a remarkable, natural phenomenon. But don't get too close. Trust me on this. Many of them are in a bad mood. Researchers have shown that this foul disposition is cause by several factors, such as being overfed and undernourished, personal and financial problems, time management issues, laziness, or simply over or under sleeping.

They have been known to grumpily drop their breakfastless children off at summer school, and it is best to keep your distance.

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