Nicknames

Nicknames are an overlooked yet fascinating phenomenon. I am talking about nom de plumes, pseudonyms, those "endearing" pet names we saddle on our friends. Most of us have had at least one of them assigned to us, but I have had many given to me. All of them are nicknames I want to forget, but the cruel connection they had to one of my visible traits branded them into my brain forever. In some cases, the nicknames came from a chance rhyming scheme dreamt up by some devious, knuckleheaded, prepubescent boy. I never had a cool nickname like A.J., Duke, or T-Bone (the nickname George Costanza tried to get everyone to call him). No, not me. I had nicknames like Itch, Red, Fart Face, Mr. Shiny, and Pink Honky. I hated them all.

I have been on the dispensing end of nicknames. What a tragedy that is.........well, at least for someone else: Dinky, Booty, Caboosie, Meat, Bittle-Battle, Noodles, Jackal, Spasmo, and my personal favorite, Crutch Butt. I also handed out some good ones, ones that the recipients were proud of: Jimbo, Rosie, Double O Seven, Captain, and my personal favorite, Smoothie.

I also have nicknames for kids. Now I am not so cruel as to have nicknames for the individual children in my life. I am talking about nicknames for children in general, or more specifically, those kids who run through restaurants screaming and bumping into diners' chairs, leave boogers and other leakage on shopping baskets and everything else I come in contact with, or stare at my head and then ask, "Say Mister, what happened to your hair?" I know I should be ashamed, but I have nicknames for those kids in our society. Many are obvious and everyone has heard them. Others are new and created by myself. These nicknames are: Rugrats, Imps, Brats, Tots, Urchins, Chits, Mess Masters, Toy Trashers, Booger Eaters, and my personal favorite, Hornets, as in, "Uh-oh! Hornets at three o'clock!" Some are more affectionate, such as Pizza Eaters, Chilluns, and Muffins.

Do you have any nicknames for kids in general? Do you have any nicknames for yourself or nicknames you "dished out" to a friend when you were a kid? Please share them by writing them down in the comment spot below this blog for all to read. No comment is necessary. Just write down a nickname. We'd all love to read it.