An Off-Color Anecdote and a Nugget of Information

One of my favorite expressions that I ever heard and one that I will remember and cherish until the day I die was moaned by a twelve year old boy on a basketball court. Daniel, a behemoth of a fellow, threw a baseball at Glenn when Glenn was too busy yacking away and making us all laugh. He was good at that, and unbeknownst to him, he was about to achieve comedic immortality. The throw was low and smacked Glenn right in the ol' genital area. Glenn collapsed to the ground and tried to do what all boys do when such a tragedy occurs: you only breathe out, and you do that in excrutiatingly tiny exhales. Everything must be done very gently for at least five minutes, and you do NOT want to breathe in. Breathing in means increased pressure on the "sea bottom cavity," and thusly, increased pressure on the scrotum. Breathing in also means continued life, and at that moment, all desire to exist vanishes in a blinding fog of pain. After breathing out for about forty-five seconds, Glenn was heard to moan these words: "I got two balls in one socket."

I'm still laughin' about that. Of course, I am still about as mature as a twelve year old boy. Just ask my wife, Peggy.

In case you are wondering why I started this blog entry with that story, well, first, this is a blog about kids, and I was a middle schooler at the time. Secondly, it was a way of introducing an upgrade in the slang term for the male testicles. For years they have been referred to in foreign languages (e.g. Spanish: cajones), as squirrel food (nuts), gems (family jewels), or sporting equipment (balls).

The new term, as overheard "around the campus" is "chicken nuggets" or simply "nuggets." So if you hear your son or, heaven forbid, your daughter, referring to an item on the McDonald's menu, there is a good chance it is "naughty language," especially if it involves sucking on the nuggets, rather than actually chewing on them. I just thought I'd mention it. I mean, I am an educator, and this nugget of information is educational.