Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Here We Go Again

I have decided to join the world of pre-teens and Tom Cruise and get braces. Yecch.

Why? Because clearly, after managing to actually receive in the mail a savings account bank statement that has a comma, what else do you do? I was so hoping to buy something fun: like a rug, a handyman to put up the inevitable hurricane shutters some time over the next couple of months, some new breasts, or some landscaping to replace this:

But nooooooooo, I had to visit my very good friend Elaine (who is a top-notch dentist) this weekend, and as she showed me the invisalign plans of various actual cases, I pointed out my own smile.

She looked closer, and noted that my midline is off, my bite is completely askew, and a couple of teeth are jutting out. Additionally, my childhood orthodontist--certainly now retired--overcorrected my teeth originally and I have two black "triangles", Bermuda-ish, on the side of my smile. Which, we all know, is very unattractive and very un-Julia Roberts.

The good news is that after my savings account is re-depleted, I will have straight teeth for life*, and possibly less-to-no headaches. I can then, of course, oh-so-easily resave some dollars so that Jake can have the inevitable turn at the metal.

The best support my family can offer came from Jake. After hearing my decision a horrified expression spread across his face. "Well when you take me to things," he compromised, "just please don't smile."

*As I googled to find out if truly this was a last-time-straightening, or sadly did now 20 years refer to life as I am over 40, I came across this site. Are you kidding me????

2 comments:

Walter said...

I dont' know about the braces. I think I would have gone with the landscaping to replace the casket draped in roses.

tracy said...

Let's be honest, people would notice the new breats more, not the smile! Not that I am endorsing that....