FOURTH GRADE "ERRORS" AND "ODD STATEMENTS"

Here are some "errors" and "odd statements" made by my fourth grade students. All of these were delivered with very straight faces, of course.


Me: "Health experts say the average American eats too much salt, which is harmful to your blood pressure and your general health."
Pierce: "I don't use regular salt. I use idolized salt."


Michael: "I brang my homework to school."
Me: "Michael, it's not 'brang.' There is no such word as 'brang.' I 'brang' my homework is incorrect English. What would be the correct word in that sentence?"
Michael: "I brunk my homework to school?"


Pierce: "I am never going to play tennis again."
Me: "How come?"
Pierce: "Because I dented my neighbor's truck."
Me: "You dented your neighbor's truck with a tennis ball!?!"
Pierce: "Well, actually it was a rock."


Me: "Dennis, I've been told you called Michael a bad name. Is that true?"
Dennis: "I didn't call him a bad name."
Me: "That isn't what Michael said."
Dennis: "Well I didn't call him a bad name."
Me: "He said you called him an asshole. Is that correct."
Dennis: "I didn't call him that!! He misunderstood me. I didn't call him that, I swear!"
Me: "Well what did you call him?"
Dennis: "I called him a GAShole."


Me: "And where were you born, Julia?
Julia: "I was born in Fertilia."



Kids. I love 'em.