Saturday, June 26, 2010


Here are some "errors" and "odd statements" made by my fourth grade students. All of these were delivered with very straight faces, of course.

Me: "Health experts say the average American eats too much salt, which is harmful to your blood pressure and your general health."
Pierce: "I don't use regular salt. I use idolized salt."

Michael: "I brang my homework to school."
Me: "Michael, it's not 'brang.' There is no such word as 'brang.' I 'brang' my homework is incorrect English. What would be the correct word in that sentence?"
Michael: "I brunk my homework to school?"

Pierce: "I am never going to play tennis again."
Me: "How come?"
Pierce: "Because I dented my neighbor's truck."
Me: "You dented your neighbor's truck with a tennis ball!?!"
Pierce: "Well, actually it was a rock."

Me: "Dennis, I've been told you called Michael a bad name. Is that true?"
Dennis: "I didn't call him a bad name."
Me: "That isn't what Michael said."
Dennis: "Well I didn't call him a bad name."
Me: "He said you called him an asshole. Is that correct."
Dennis: "I didn't call him that!! He misunderstood me. I didn't call him that, I swear!"
Me: "Well what did you call him?"
Dennis: "I called him a GAShole."

Me: "And where were you born, Julia?
Julia: "I was born in Fertilia."

Kids. I love 'em.

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